DutchEveryone learning Dutch says something they didn't mean now and then. Ik ben koud instead of ik heb het koud, or hoe gaat het met je zon? when you're asking about someone's son. The Dutch will laugh for a moment, but nearly always with you, not at you. And a slip like that is one you'll never forget.
Short answer: most funny slips come from five corners. You use zijn (to be) where Dutch uses hebben (to have): ik heb het koud. A short or long vowel makes a different word: zon (sun), zoon (son). Your own language whispers along: ik heb koud, mij is warm. A word looks like the right one: kater, kat. Or one little word is missing: mij eten, met mij eten.
1 Why laughing helps
Many learners would rather say nothing than say something wrong. That's a pity, because speaking is only learned by speaking. A slip you laugh about together is no longer a mistake but a story: remember when I said I was cold-hearted? You'll remember that story better than any rule in a book.
Tip: when someone laughs at what you said, just ask: Wat zei ik? (What did I say?) Almost everyone is happy to explain, often with a story of their own about a slip in your language.
2 Have, not be
What you feel takes hebben (to have) in Dutch. Zijn (to be) says who or what you are. That's why one verb changes the whole meaning:
| What you mean | What you say with zijn | What that means |
|---|---|---|
| Ik heb het koud. | Ik ben koud. | I'm a cold, unfriendly person. |
| Ik heb het warm. | Ik ben heet. | Something quite different from the weather. |
| Ik heb honger. | Ik ben honger. | I am hunger itself. |
| Ik had geluk. | Ik was geluk. | I was luck itself (sweet, but odd). |
With cold and warm, mind the little word het: ik heb het koud. With hunger, thirst, sleepiness and luck there's no het: ik heb honger, ik heb dorst, ik heb slaap.
When you do mean who someone is, zijn is just right: Linda is warm means Linda is a warm-hearted person. A compliment she'll be glad to hear.
3 One sound apart
In Dutch a short vowel is something else than a long one. To your ear it may sound almost the same, but to a Dutch speaker it's a different word:
| Short | Long | What can go wrong |
|---|---|---|
| de zon (the sun) | de zoon (the son) | Hoe gaat het met je zon? How is your sun? |
| de man (the man, husband) | de maan (the moon) | Mijn maan komt ook. My moon is coming too. |
| de kat (the cat) | de kaart (the card) | Ik heb een kaart, when you mean your cat. |
| de bus (the bus) | de buurt (the neighbourhood) | Ik woon in de bus. I live in the bus. |
Then there are sounds your own language may not have: zoon (oo) and zoen (oe, a kiss) lie close together. Hoe gaat het met je zoen? (how is your kiss?) always gets a smile.
Tip: listen to the difference first, and only then say it. If you can't hear the difference, you can't make it either. In the exercise Ans says the words side by side: de zon, de zoon, de zoen.
4 From your own language
Your own language always whispers along a little. That's perfectly normal, and often exactly what makes the Dutch smile:
- Ik heb koud. French and Spanish say it like this (j'ai froid, tengo frío). Dutch needs het: ik heb het koud.
- Mij is warm. That's German (mir ist warm). The Dutch say: ik heb het warm.
- Ik ben hongerig. English I'm hungry word for word. Hongerig exists, but it sounds like the wolf in a fairy tale. Just say: ik heb honger.
- Ik ben moede. German müde. Moede only turns up in very old poems. Just say: moe.
5 Just another word
Sometimes a word is nearly right, or one little word is missing. Suddenly the sentence means something else entirely:
| What you say | What it means | What you mean |
|---|---|---|
| Ik heb een kater. | I have a hangover (or: a tomcat). | Ik heb een kat. I have a cat. |
| Ik was gelukkig. | I was happy with my life. | Ik had geluk. I was lucky. |
| Ik ben dood. | I'm dead. | Ik ben doodmoe. I'm dead tired. |
| Wil je mij eten? | Do you want to eat me? | Wil je met mij eten? Eat with me? |
Dood- in front of a word makes it stronger: doodmoe (dead tired), doodeng (terrifying), doodgewoon (perfectly ordinary). Say only ik ben dood and you'll hear: you still look very much alive to me!
6 At a birthday
A Dutch birthday has its own words. You shake hands with everyone in the circle and congratulate them on the birthday person: Gefeliciteerd met Linda! Only the birthday person gets: Gefeliciteerd met je verjaardag! Say that to someone else and you'll hear: Haha, ik ben niet jarig! (it's not my birthday!)
Tip: jarig zijn is one of those words English doesn't have: Linda is jarig means it's Linda's birthday today.
Partner tip Play "Wat zei je nou?" (what did you just say?) over dinner. Now and then the partner says something odd on purpose: Ik ben honger, or geef me de zon eens. The learner hears it, laughs, and says how it should go. Then swap. Focus on one thing at a time: hebben and zijn, or one pair of sounds.
Test yourself
It's winter. Do you say: ik ben koud or ik heb het koud?
Ik heb het koud. What you feel takes hebben. Ik ben koud says you're a cold person.
What does someone mean by: "Hoe gaat het met je zon?"
Your son, je zoon. Zoon has a long oo, zon a short o.
You won the quiz without knowing how. Do you say: ik was gelukkig or ik had geluk?
Ik had geluk. Gelukkig zijn is being happy with your life.
What do you say to a friend of the birthday person?
Gefeliciteerd met Linda! (or the birthday person's name). Only the birthday person gets: gefeliciteerd met je verjaardag.
What's wrong with: "Wil je morgen mij eten?"
Met is missing: wil je morgen met mij eten? Without met you're asking someone to eat you.
