DutchYou ring the bell of your new neighbour. Do you say "Goedemiddag, ik ben uw nieuwe buurman" or "Hoi, ik ben je nieuwe buurman"? Dutch has two words for you, and the difference is not grammar but distance. This is how it works, so you sound neither rude nor stiff.
Short answer: to someone you don't know who is older than you, or in an official situation, you say u. To friends, family, colleagues, children and people your own age you say je or jij. When someone says "zeg maar je", switch to je and their first name, and stay with it.
1 The forms: je, jij, jou, jouw and u
| Plain | Stressed | Polite | |
|---|---|---|---|
| subject | je bent | jij bent | u bent |
| after a verb or preposition | ik zie je | ik zie jou | ik zie u |
| whose | je jas | jouw jas | uw jas |
Je is the ordinary form. Jij, jou and jouw are for when the word is stressed, for instance when you contrast two people: Ik drink thee, en jij? (I'm having tea, and you?) Or when you wish someone the same: Fijne avond! – Dank je, jij ook!
Tip: u never changes, stressed or not. Only the possessive has a form of its own: uw.
2 When do you say u?
Over the last fifty years the Netherlands has moved more and more to je. In shops, at the hairdresser's, at work and online you hardly hear anything else. But u has not gone:
| Usually u | Usually je |
|---|---|
| someone you don't know who is older than you | friends, family, children |
| at the town hall, the GP, the police, on the phone with a company | colleagues, often your boss too |
| a formal letter or email to someone you don't know | people your own age, even strangers |
| to show respect, or to keep your distance | in shops and cafés (you order with je) |
In doubt? Start with u. Nobody holds it against you that you were too polite; the other person will offer je if they want to. The other way round, je to an older stranger can sound cheeky.
It doesn't have to be the same both ways. A child says u to the neighbour, the neighbour says je to the child. And an older neighbour may well say je to her new neighbour while he still says u, until she says: zeg maar je, hoor.
3 "Zeg maar je": the moment you switch
Whoever is older, or the boss, or the customer, gets to offer je. It sounds like this:
- Zeg maar je, hoor. (Just say je.)
- Je mag gewoon je zeggen. (You can just say je.)
- Zeg maar Ans. (Call me Ans: you use the first name too.)
- Zo oud ben ik nou ook weer niet! (I'm not that old! With a wink: say je.)
After a sentence like that you say je and the first name, from then on and for good. You don't have to say anything back; just carry on with je. Going back to u or mevrouw feels like putting the distance back.
4 The verb with je and u
With je and jij the verb gets a -t: je werkt, jij woont. But when je or jij comes after the verb, in a question, the -t drops:
| Statement | Question | With u |
|---|---|---|
| Je werkt hier. | Werk je hier? | Werkt u hier? |
| Jij woont hier. | Woon jij hier? | Woont u hier? |
| Je hebt een pakketje. | Heb je een pakketje? | Heeft u een pakketje? |
| Je bent nieuw. | Ben je nieuw? | Bent u nieuw? |
With u the -t always stays. With hebben, both u heeft and u hebt are correct; u heeft is the one you hear most.
5 Traps
- Mixing u and je. Heeft u je jas? sounds messy. Pick one: Heeft u uw jas? or Heb je je jas?
- Mevrouw after "zeg maar je". Dank u wel, mevrouw after she said zeg maar je feels cold. Say Dank je wel, Ans.
- Ik ook instead of jij ook. To Fijn weekend! you answer Jij ook! (or U ook!). Ik ook means "me too": you have the same.
- Translating English you. In English everyone is you; in Dutch you have to choose. In doubt: u.
Partner tip Go through the people of your week together: the neighbour, the huisarts, a colleague, a friend's child. For each, the partner asks je of u? and the learner answers with a question for that person: Hoe gaat het met u? or Hoe gaat het met je? You will disagree about at least one of them, just like the Dutch do.
Test yourself
You ring the bell of an older neighbour you don't know yet. Je or u?
U. Goedemiddag, ik ben uw nieuwe buurman. If she offers je, you switch.
She says: "Zeg maar je, hoor." How do you ask how she is?
Hoe gaat het met jou? Or met je. No longer met u.
Make it a question: je woont hier.
Woon je hier? In a question the -t drops after je.
Your neighbour says: "Fijne avond nog!" What do you say?
Dank je, jij ook! Stressed, so jij.
What's wrong with: "Heeft u je fiets buiten gezet?"
U and je mixed. Correct is Heeft u uw fiets buiten gezet? or Heb je je fiets buiten gezet?
